Title? What title?

Familarity Breeds......?

2008-07-08T20:11:00.004+08:00

Wow...it's been almost two years since I last blogged on blogspot. Well, reading all the old posts makes me feel nostalgic about the past and hence in a moment of impluse, I decided to revive this blog again. Not sure what I'll write here or how consistent I'll be but it'll probably be snippets here and there. There's a saying that familarity breeds contempt but not in this case I hope. However, don't expect any consistent updates though. (since when am I consistent in posting?)

Its' time to move on

2006-11-05T23:02:00.000+08:00

Sadly speaking my time at blogspot is coming to an end. Recently I have been contemplating switching to LJ permanently. Blogspot is fun and nice to configure but I decided to try using LJ on a more consistent basis. Until then, this journal would probably not be updated much soon. Thanks for reading thus far.....I won't say sayonara cause I'm a fickle-minded person and may move back in the near future. ^_^ Dewa, mata ne.

Death note

2006-09-07T20:58:00.000+08:00

I've been waiting for DN movie for a very very long time....finally its here in Singapore. Thanks to A-san for the heads-up. 19th October is the opening day....provided movies.yahoo.com.sg doesn't lie...

Been reading the manga of DN recently, courtesy of a colleague. Im really drawn by the intense battle of wits between two geniuses. Hope the movie won't disappoint...though I think Raito and L look quite like their manga couterparts...heheh at least that's two hours worth of eye candy.

On a side note, there's rumors that the anime of DN will be out on 3rd Oct. That's another great news...especially since Yamaguchi Kappei will voice L. Can't imagine that though...but must support my favourite seiyuu k hahha.

Recently, I've been learning how to play ping pong...interesting game...glad to have so many of our fellow TOs enjoying the game too. Been playing bridge too...esp since our CAC pple quite like it...a cheaper entertainment than pool I guess. Not that I don't like pool...but I don't like being thrashed (by you know who) .....hahaha.....

hi

2006-07-11T07:21:00.000+08:00

Been such a long time since i last wrote.....all you guys reading it will get more updates from me from real life than reading this miserable blog....so there's really no point writing any more haha.

Anyway, in case you guys din noe.......(highly doubt so), I just came back from a 4 week trip to Japan. Its been great living together with a bunch of fun-loving people and experiencing another kind of lifestyle. There's probably many other stuff I can write about my trip but I have been so busy since I came back that I can hardly put my thoughts together into words. Maybe another time...

Well, yesterday was commencement and it has been great trying to find people around to take photos with. I met YT first since her commencement is on the morning and Im supposed to go school earlier for a group econs photo. Then Wayne called to inform me he's in school. YT also told me Chiba-sensei is in school and ask me if I wanna take photo with her too. I quickly agreed and make my way to arts canteen after the econs photo taking, meeting Wayne on the way. Takeda-sensei was there too. Its quite sad that I can never take japanese tutorials anymore.......no more TA, TB and TC.....and erm...oh no more mid-term too (yay ^_^)

Then commencement began and it was a swift rush of clapping, clapping and more clapping. And people who barely knew each other began talking to each other. I think given time, I would have known more people in commencement than in my four years in econs.....hahaha. Of course its our last chance to talk to each other liao.......quite sad lah.....been looking for my golden pair also....managed to take some more photos before I succumbed to fatigue and decided to retire back home.

Btw, my photos of recent Japan trip is up at http://www.imagestation.com/album/pictures.html?id=2105028803 so feel free to take a look k. I probably would want to upload my commencement photos if I have the time.....but no promises lah.

God Bless.

2006-04-30T09:14:00.000+08:00

youtube + lots of anime titles in head = procrastination + waste of time

go figure.....

2006-02-03T09:49:00.000+08:00

I guess I must be quite a lazy person to update my blog so infrequently. But seriously there's nothing much going on to say......besides the fact that I'm rushing tutorials and quizzes and readings and all that stuff. Especially the macro tutorial.....真是要了我的命。Although I have my friend's tutorial to 帮我挡 for the past 2 sessions, but tutorials are changed from next lesson onwards. It's that kind of tutorials that the math takes hours to figure out one.........and we learn new econs model every week. Challenging but stress ah....

Not to mention that my thesis progress is like snail like that........I'm seriously panicking now and contemplating 闭关 but of course not possible lah. I'm still stuck at my first part of literature reviewing......

Seriously there's so many things I wan to do and no time to appropriately finish them.......even though I keep telling myself I should get down proper and do some proper quiet time and bible study, I'm always feeling tired and lazy. Even my prayers are half-hearted......sobsobsob.

I think maybe I should stop going out for one week.......besides the absolute minimum requirement of school and other committments.....erm.....actually that's already precious hours off......

Please dun tell me to go out and relax.....because even if I go out and happy for a while, I might end up freaking out at home.....hahaha.....aiyah even home also jia lat cause I'm watching drama every day.....早知就不要浪费光阴了。

这就是新年的后遗症。

Backlog of updates........

2006-01-06T23:52:00.000+08:00

I've been meaning to update my small little corner ever since I came back from the speedlight camp but I was busy and tired most of the time.......and lazy too so the amount of updates accumulated till now.

Firstly, I just wanna say that the camp was not as bad as I feared. As a matter of fact, I'm actually quite happy that I took a step out of my comfort zone to participate in a camp (something which I've never done before). Thru this camp, I'm reminded once more of God's presence and the reality of His existence and after being "busy" with world affairs for so long, its high time for me to get back to the things that truly matters. It is indeed refreshing to spend 24/7 being in the presence of fellow lighters, doing group devotions and spending time learning more and worshipping God. There are many things in this camp that's worthy of mentioning: the worship services, the workshops, the high rope element (I thot I couldn't do it but I managed to complete one station - it may not sound much but to me it's an achivement....haha) and the night walk. The night walk is especially interesting：although its muddy and dirty and tiring and straining and little bit predictable - it's still kinda fun (once in a lifetime experience thingie). It's a little bit difficult to describe but parts of it parallel the christian walk. The facilitator told us that the journey is uncertain.....but someone has paved the way and there is the assurance that a home awaits us. Similarly, in our lives, things are unpredictable and uncontrollable....yet we can be assured that God is with us and that we will be with Him eventually. I think that it is this hope that we have that allows us to pull through all circumstances, smiling even in the face of adversity. Sometimes, we need to take a step of faith towards what we cannot see.......and once we take that step, we will realise that there is actually nothing to be afraid of because He will always be there for us.

Second thing to update is that today is the last day of my internship. It's been great working with all the rest of interns - such a fun-loving bunch of people. It's almost miraculous how we can just talk about almost anything under the sun while working - and cracking our misc jokes (mostly econs jokes) at the same time. It's not easy to find people who have almost the same sense of humor as you........though some may beg to differ actually. I really wanna thank people there who have put up with me and my crappy jokes (partial derivaties from other jokes actually) and I really learn a lot of new stuff listening to them. These people really made working enjoyable and fun.

Third thing is next monday is start of school liaoz.......though some things are not settled yet, I've decided to trust God that everything will work well in the end. This does not mean I'm going to be passive and wait for things to happen. On the contrary, I will make things happen but I will also accept if certain things cannot go my way. Although I made lotsa new year resolution, I broke them within couple of days. Some of the broken resolutions include:
1. don't be late
2. don't waste food

The pt is resolutions are impt. And just because u break them doesn't mean u cannot try to keep them.....Actually the pt of resolutions to me is more of self-reflection than actual keeping since it forces me to think about what I really want in life. Time is so precious - once a day goes it will never come back again. U may have more days, but they are not the exact day u have lost.....I'm not sure if this year will be a crossroad in my life but I pray that 2006 will be a year of changes (good ones) even though changes are painful.

Merry Christmas

2005-12-25T18:32:00.000+08:00

Merry christmas!! Been out shopping almost the whole day with pw, wayne and john for our speedlight camping needs.....think i whined so much that it seems almost i'm going to join army instead.....imagine me and pw eating sushi because we wan to have something nice to eat before we leave.......(wah lau i think it's almost like last supper to us liaoz.......hahah). never knew camping is so troublesome. i only can hope and pray that we will all have a wonderful and refreshing time for the next few days and God will forgive our moanings and lamentings........hehehe.....

keep us in prayer........please. ^_^

bday post

2005-12-13T00:13:00.000+08:00

today, or rather yesterday, was my bday. the first present i receive today (excluding the gifts i received yesterday) was a miracle from God. because i went out of the house later than usual, i only managed to board the bus to my working place at yio chu kang at 0820. (in case u din know, i am an intern in maybank now). in my heart, i thot that it was pretty unlikely that i can reach my workplace at 0900 since usually it will take at least 45 mins from paya lebar to yio chu kang. however i recall what pastor said regarding miracles and pray to God that i will be able to reach maybank in time. the amazing thing is that i managed to reach the bus stop before 0900 even though the bus practically stop at every stop(almost i think). however, i still need to walk all the way in to the place and i half run half walk my way there. finally, as i was stepping into the lobby, the old grandfather clock chimed.....it was exactly nine. not one minute early nor late. I thank God for answering my prayer and starting my bday with the miracle.

during work, i receive a card signed by my fellow interns and supervisor and we had a small celebration (complete with cake) for me and another intern whose bday is also somewhat near nime. luckily during this intern, i have a fellow classmate / group project mate to work with me. since she also watched pot and i'm also currently watching pot n both of us are working in pairs, we dubbed ourselves the golden pair. quite grateful that she's there to crack jokes with me and tramatise the rest of our fellow interns (they also crack their jokes)

after work, i managed to hitch a ride from my friend's friend and get to city hall somewhat not too late. i celebrated my bday with eating dinner with some of my other friends and chat for a while. i remember last year i celebrated my bday in hiroshima with my fellow travel mates and this year, i get to celebrate my bday with my co-workers and friends (not juz today, yesterday also). truly i'm blessed to have pple around me who cared. i receive a number of sms too from friends. to those who wished me happy bday, thanks very much.

so this week is going to be another busy week. wednesday got wedding dinner, thursday got tracting (not confirmed yet but i simply don't have other days liaoz.....since i'm supposed to do it by this sunday n friday is out of option. its either sat or thurs depending on how many pple i can get to do tog. wayne n weiqiang will not be ard then....and andy is busy with choir practice so that's at least 3 pple off the labor force) friday got cg also.....then next wed exam results releasing (gonna need lotsa prayer for this - remember to pray for me k?)

oh yah, remember to make new year resolution - even if u dun keep them, at least by making them, u r doing some self-reflection, which is impt for growth.

small update

2005-11-27T10:37:00.000+08:00

seems like i've been busy preparing for exams for the past few weeks.....not to mention doing the remaining stuff like writeup of js presentation, omg presentation, money n banking essay plus that behavioural research proposal. finally, after one plus weeks of examinations (since my exams started on the 18/11/2005), i'm down to my last paper - micro.

wah.....why am i always so unmotivated when it comes to the last paper? some more it's like open book (although that doesn't necessarily bode well.....if u noe what i mean). well, technically speaking i registered for the japanese placement test (in order to take japanese 5 next semester) so i need to study again for this test........(hope i'll pass it - cramming 1/2 year worth of stuff within days? sigh) so can consider that as my last paper?

again....on 9th i have another thing going on (regret signing up for it but nevermind).....and heard that behavioural classmates might wan to have an outing on 9th........auto-enrollment if you dun email to opt out (which i'm lazy to email....sigh). they really apply what they learn to real life sia....hahaha

okay........so after 9th....free for a while.....until results release.....then erm christmas.....then sigh

speedlight camp

i won't say i'm being forced to go lah (strongly persuaded might be a better word). anyway i also never really go any camp before so treat it as an experience lor. i mean life is all about accumulating experiences right........otherwise how would people grow? so if i go.....and interact with xiao di di and xiao mei mei (think i can click with them lah........hopefully), 应该不会死得太惨啦。

after camp would be going to be start of school again.......last semester liaoz.....must cherish.

Juan - I'll be praying everyday for your safety (hopefully) - you know the reason why.......hahaha

太好了

2005-10-26T08:26:00.000+08:00

终于做完了JS Presentation....

Now only left the essay to write n edit....

And today is the submission of OMG paper.....so only left presentation of OMG

What is left.....is Money and Banking (which is due next monday)

其实还有一大堆东西要赶，不过总算作完了一些。

Yesterday the behavioural guest lecturer was quite funny....the way he laughs is quite erm....unique? hahaa.....and although they made this lecture complusory for all year 4s, not everyone came. I spend 6 hours waiting for the lecture since I've nothing to do after my JS presentation. And 6 hours actually passed by quickly. Just hang around anime club room, talking to my group project mates and watching shows.....and then look for teachers.....and then come back and watch shows again (plus study lah, i got study okay.....but the papers are so difficult).....

I think this week I have to go home late 3 times instead of the usual once a week.....yesterday was 1 time, today another.....and probably friday also.....sigh

I'm wielding my ultimate weapon and slashing at projects now.....Bwahahaha fear me...ye all projects and assignments.......(okay.....I'm going to battle soon.....hopefully it's going to be me standing in the end.....victory!!)

2005-10-22T16:51:00.000+08:00

I'm starting to think that the only time when I can update my blog is during weekends now. Just so busy everyday doing project after project....and rushing assignments.....until it became somewhat of a routine. Just finish one thing and another would pop by, waiting silently for me to turn my back and acknowledge it.

On second thoughts, school term is ending soon. I'm not sure what to think about this semester.....it feels entirely too short. Like there's no room in between for me to catch my breath. The pace of school is relentless....especially during the end of semester where all presentations, projects, writeups and assignments are due.......sianz.......and exams is coming within 5 weeks time.

Good thing is JS presentation and OMG presentation are more or less there, Bad thing is there's still Money and Banking presentation. And I'm not sure what to write for money and banking essay.......plus must think some topic for reserach proposal for Behavioural........I'm kinda out of ideas what would be an interesting aspect to study liaoz........then there's one more econometrics and OMG assignment.......and finally, exams.....

I imagine i'm currently suffering from what people would termed as information overload......hopefully my circuits wouldn't die on me. But I'm optimistic that even so, God will give me new one anyway.......^_^

銀河鉄道の夜

2005-10-03T19:41:00.000+08:00

Ginga Tetsudou no yoru - Night on the Galactic Railroad is a beautiful story. Written by Miyazawa Kenji - it tells of a young boy named Giovanni who was often bullied by his friends because his father was not around and his mother was ill. Giovanni only had a friend - Campanella who understood him. On the night of the festival of stars, Giovanni wanted to join in the fun but was rejected by his classmates. Feeling upset, he ran to the fields and looked up into the sky where the stars shone brightly. Suddenly a train came and picked Giovanni up. Within the train was his best friend - Campanella and thus their mysterious journey begin...........

To me the story is beautiful - because it was permated with a sense of mystic, loss and foreshadowing....throughout the journey, Giovanni saw many things - symbolism of things and lessons - some of which I do not quite understand. It also weaved in many Christian symbols - which is strange in a way because Miyazawa himself is a Buddhist. Nevertheless, the symbols do mean something and they actually foreshadow the central theme of the story - one of letting go and scarifice and the meaning of true happiness.

I guess sometimes no matter how much we long to be on a journey - we will reach our destination one day. And no matter how much I want to share some part of my life with people, eventually some roads are meant to be travelled alone. Letting go, nostalgia, moving on are all part and parcel of living. The imaginary world is not real - but the lessons behind them are. Fiction has the power to overcome barriers that logic created and open our eyes to the truths we never see. If we bother to look deeper, there's a whole new world of meaning waiting for us to explore.....one lesson which I learn from anime is striving - never give up, no matter how tough things get going. I'm really thankful for the optimistic view of life that anime has given me..^_^

FFVII: a reflection?

2005-09-29T00:32:00.000+08:00

How FFVII reflects Japan modern society (not to be taken seriously)

1. Shinra represents a typical monopolistic / capitalistic / profit-maximising company in the real world. Aim - makes lotsa money without caring about the impact that technology has on environment.

2. Sephiroth - the typical salaryman that slogs for the above-mentioned big company for almost all his life. Sephiroth's descent to madness after realising the truth of his origins could be a metaphor to how the typical salaryman feel after being given a retrenchment letter after slogging for almost all his life. In most cases, the typical salaryman may actually direct destructive tendencies inward (ie suicide - which may partly explain why Japan's suicide rate is rising). Unfortunately, Sephiroth choose to direct his destructive tendencies outward.

3. Alavanche - a small team that opposes Shinra. Could be a metaphor for small start-up firms that are trying to compete with big names, yet without much resources.

4. Cloud - a metaphor for a young entrepreneur. He leads the above-mentioned company.

5. Aeris - the ideal Japanese woman who is willing to make the ultimate sacrifice

6. Tifa - the modern Japanese woman who is taking a career path....

7. Yuffie - kawaiiness

8. Vincent - nostalgic for the past....Vincent slept for years only to wake up to a world that has already mvoed on without him. He represents the feelings that the older generations might have with regards to rapid changes in lifestyle and culture......a nostalgic for the past yet hope of redemption and being useful for the future.

9. Sephiroth's aim of trying to destroy the world - or becoming all powerful - is actually a reflection of a typical salaryman's desire to make something out of his life after realising that his efforts and loyalty towards the company is misplaced. Hence he would want to do a career switch only to discover that it's too late for him to enter the market as an entrepreneur. Cause Cloud was there first and he had first-mover advantage.....so that's why Cloud can beat Sephiroth in the end....even though Seph has more power.

Moral lesson in FFVII: You either be entrepreneur or employee.......don't be like Seph who switch half-way.......most of the time it prob won't work...........(juz kidding)

Oh yah, plus the fact that nature takes care of itself......so enivronment matters......

FFVII

2005-09-21T19:53:00.000+08:00

So the term break is here and what am I doing ------- watching Final Fantasy VII: Advent Children.....yay hahahah. I've been waiting for this for sooooo long.....dreaming of seeing Cloud and Sephiroth live.......or as live as gaming characters can be.......^_^

S
P
O
I
L
E
R
S

Ahead.........anyway dun bother reading if you dun wanna hear me rant abt FFVII lah.......

I think maybe something's wrong with me cause I'm in "love" with Seph......and the insane look on his face.....hahah I know lah I have a soft spot for any characters with silver hair........eg Inuyasha, Hitsugaya, Youko Kurama (wah that's million years ago k) and now.....Sephiroth.....
That's why I spend my term break wondering how on earth can a SOLDIER have waist length hair and still look so cool........and deadly.....and erm.....insane? So I ask my friend on msn and he say Seph used Head and Shoulders......which makes me happy cause I'm using that too.......hahah

Hey I know he's the villian.......but he's misuderstood k (ya right actually he's really insane lah). He got such a sorry past.......sobsobsob......and he only appeared for like 5 minutes in the show....but that's okay.....cause we get to see Cloud too.....voiced by Takahiro Sakurai. When I hear Sakurai-san and Morikawa-san (Seph's seiyuu) talk, I got reminded of Kyou Kara Maou......wahhhh..........Yuuri and Conrad.........Seph and Cloud......wat a different image sia..........

Speaking of seiyuu huh........I tried re-watching Tactics again cause need to do anime review and I choose Tactics and Inuyasha.........When I listen to Kantarou's voice, Hanatarou's face just popped into my mind (from Bleach). Miyata-san's voice is really distinctive sia........oh yah he also voiced in Kyou Kara Maou with Sakurai........these two seems to work together quite often. Not to mention Sakurai is in Bleach too.......hahaha

The only reason....

2005-09-18T15:31:00.000+08:00

sigh.....seriously the only reason why i din update my blog for soooo long is because i'm busy. busy with wat.......i'm not very sure myself either. i just 有一天过一天. i guess i could have said i am busy with school work but that's not entirely true. in fact, i did do lots of school stuff but the strange thing is; i felt like i'm doing a lot and yet nothing at the same time. last time i do things as they come, but now, i spend my time plotting wat to do in advance so that i can free up my time.......including making plans for tuition and stuff. if i sit down and honestly assess myself, i can say i'm not entirely tat busy.....in the sense that i still got enough time to surf net, d/l stuff and generally entertain myself. but i'm not as free as i'm used to be - able to watch so much anime and spend hours online.....i guess i really have to lower my expectations of wat i can and cannot do.....

of course, i'm not unhappy lah......as a matter of fact, i'm quite proud of myself for learning not to procrastinate anymore and doing things in advance. it's really a great stress-reliver - to be able to do things systematically and planning things. but the strange thing is.......i feel sorry that although i did stuff - they are not really the things tat i wan to do.....for example, i wan to read my readings, but i'm busy with tutorials. or i wan to study japanese....but i gotta give tuition....it's really a tradeoff and i need to use all my econs knowledge to deal with this scarcity of time - cost n benefits ya know.

well, when i plan things in advance, i dun feel so stress with myself.....i guess i'm sort of the kind of person that has high expectation on myself (kind of lah...but not quite also). i like to feel like i've done something productive....does it make me a workaholic? haha.....i guess i must be masochistic also.....cause i like to give myself trouble by adding my own workload and doing extra stuff (like learning japanese during my free time)

n if u ask me y i din put capital letters in this post....the reason is.....laziness.......hahaha.....tat's all seriously. pls dun read btw the lines n over analyze.....like how my teacher quote the sociology example of donald duck being example of white supremacy simply because it is.....white. i seriously dunno whether to believe her or not.....^_^

Monday blues

2005-09-05T22:57:00.000+08:00

Wah today the guest lecturer of JS anime module showed us a video of Singaporean cosplayers and the cosplay event 2005....makes me wanna go and see. Its really fascinating cause I din expect Singapore cosplayers to be so advanced in their cosplaying. I squeal (inwardly) when I see the characters I know - like Bleach lor....I saw this guy cosplaying as Renji and there are also some other captains around. I think one of them is Ichimaru and the other is shiro-chan (but the hair like not spikey enough??) And then.......cosplayers also performed on stage.......I nearly had a heart attack when two anime/manga/game characters singing Phantom of the Opera.....I mean just think about it........anime characters singing broadway song? It's really out of the world. Oh yah....some more got a group of four people dancing to Asterisk by Orange Range - too bad it got cut off before they could get to the vocal part of the song - cause I'm really curious; how to sing Asterisk.....I know I have been practicing for so long to no avail..........

On a not so happy note: something sway happened to me today. It wasn't a big deal lah........juz unbelievable. I went to library and photocopied some stuff - and it turned out that the power trip while I uas using the machine - so my card is stuck inside. I waited and waited until like 3.30pm where I decided I need to go to tuition soon - so I asked the librarian to help me keep a look out and retrieve my matric card when the machine is okay.....strange that it took so long juz to fix a power trip. I felt quite silly standing around the copier and waving people away telling them it's out of order.

Nevermind: I'll get the card tmr.....^_^

Pro----cras---tina---tion

2005-09-04T15:17:00.000+08:00

Wah lau siao liao lah....sit down and count the amount of work I have to do and I'm on the verge of freaking out. So many readings to complete.....tutorials to figure out....projects to do.....plus giving tuition regularly and own stuff to do also.....seems like there's so little time. Somemore I like to procrastinate so much, so my general effectiveness at doing stuff is pretty low.....wah lau now my top piority is to get my school work in order sia.....sigh.

It's been a month since school started and tutorials are pouring in. Right now, I really thank God that He didn't let me take that physics module........otherwise I'll surely be in a more terrible state than now. I cannot imagine having to figure out physics theory on top of econs......it makes me shudder to think about it. Although the JS module got exam and cannot s/u and somemore caused me to have to go school every day, but at least it's about anime.....I cannot claim to be an expert on anime but at least I watched or at least heard of quite a couple of titles and have a relatively strong interest enough to keep me going. Watching anime during lectures is also a big plus. This is called mixing work with pleasure.....hehehe.

But other modules are not so good lah....all the rest of economics modules are very interesting in their own right - but almost everyone of them have heavy readings. Especially behavioral - all journal papers....the concepts are kinda intuitive but the journal language makes it not very easy to swallow. Micro is tentatively game theory - thank God again I took game theory with Xinyi last time (even though I din do well, at least now I know what the lecturer is talking). Money and banking.......the model is kinda more complicated - and we are only at demand for money. Organisation - nothing much to say.....Dr Riyanto is quite nice and detailed but I haven even start the readings yet. Econometrics - wah....I hate maths....and 8 am lectures are really not my cup of tea...

In short, I'm going to make readings and catching up stuff my top priority....I don't even watch much anime or surf net for long periods like I did last time - I'm busy trying to punch holes through my readings and sticking reinforcement rings on them so that the paper won't be torn.

Don't laugh - it's true.

Procrastination is bad.....and I have been doing for a month already. But I promise myself - I'll not procrastinate so much.

P.S Have you people seen the news on Hurricane Katrina? When I read about the anarchy happening in New Orleans....it reminded me of War of the Worlds. Except this is real.

Morbid topic

2005-08-27T13:58:00.000+08:00

Just finished watching the third episode of Densha Otoko and surfing around the lj looking for more info on next few episodes when I come across this unique LJ community.....it's a community that lists the livejournals of people who passed away.

It's really scary........to read the online diaries of people not in this world anymore: it makes death seem so....I dunno....so near. They wrote their posts just like us, their diaries were like those of any people now blogging. I know it sounds maybe stupid, but when you read some of their journals, you will realise that death does not give us a warning. It can happen anytime and anyplace. Life is indeed so precious. One person was even talking about graduation.....and now, the person is no longer in this world.

If I know I'm going to die, I think the most important thing I want to make sure is that my relationship with God is right. I think we often don't want to discuss death because it seems like something that is so far away. There are so many "important" things now; studies, relationships, friends, having fun, making the most out of our time...yet at the moment when we are about to breathe our last.....what can be the only thing that matter? In the face of death, no matter how smart you are, how many As you get, how much money you have........it all doesn't matter. All those years of hurts and misunderstandings.....it all doesn't matter anymore. Death just cancels everything out. For Christians, we believed that we will be reunite in heaven. That is one of the best promises that anyone can have.....the promise of having no eternal separation from our fellow believers in Christ. And that is one big promise that erases the fear of death. I'm not saying that those things are not important - I'm just trying to say that we should not live as if we are going to live on this earth forever.

It's a morbid topic - death. But it happens. Just because you don't think about it doesn't mean it's not there. And please.....cherish life. I believe no matter how awful things are.....God will always provide a way out. And no matter what we do, God's love is never far away. Nothing can separate us from His love - we just have to believe it. Death may be inevitable but it's up to us to choose how to live our lives on earth - happily or not....

Laughter is the best medicine

2005-08-27T00:50:00.000+08:00

I think people who've been around me much will realise that I like to laugh a lot. And now I found an article online which details all the health benefits of laughter. So laugh now.....because it's good for you.

http://www.helpguide.org/life/humor_laughter_health.htm

This article really covers a lot on laughter: like for example, how does laughter improves mental and physical health, how to bring humor into our lives, how to make sure our humor won't offend people, the differences between hurtful and healthful laughter and also a list of online links - including an archive on clean jokes (special emphasis because I feel that there's a tendency for people to think that all jokes must be "dirty" to be funny). I think after reading this, you guys should laugh more. Or at least smile once per day.....it's a simple activity that costs you nothing and can brighten up someone's life. (sounds clinched but it's true)

Of course, don't just focus on laughing lah.....laugh too much probably is not good also. Must have balance okay.....

P.S In case you cannot laugh........(somewhere along the lines of constipation only in terms of humor :P) I got some jokes for you from http://netec.mcc.ac.uk/JokEc.html It's all economists and economics joke btw.

TOP 10 REASONS TO STUDY ECONOMICS
1. Economists are armed and dangerous: "Watch out for our invisible hands."
2. Economists can supply it on demand.
3. You can talk about money without every having to make any.
4. You get to say "trickle down" with a straight face.
5. Mick Jagger and Arnold Schwarzenegger both studied economics and look how they turned out.
6. When you are in the unemployment line, at least you will know why you are there.
7. If you rearrange the letters in "ECONOMICS", you get "COMIC NOSE".
8. Although ethics teaches that virtue is its own reward, in economics we get taught that reward is its own virtue.
9. When you get drunk, you can tell everyone that you are just researching the law of diminishing marginal utility.
10. When you call 1-900-LUV-ECON and get Kandi Keynes, you will have something to talk about.

Fresh perspective

2005-08-23T14:21:00.000+08:00

You know, I used to think that if I explain my reasoning to someone, or if they explain their reasoning to me nicely, we would come to see each other's point of view. But the truth is.....it doesn't happen this way. Sometimes, I'm really surprised by my lack of understanding and also secretly complain in my heart that people don't really understand me. But of course, I realise that that is to be expected. You see, we all have a different set of values, experiences and our own unique way of perceiving things. How can a human being fully understand another? Only God can do that. We can only understand people based on our own experiences, our own perception coupled with things like compassion or empathy. But even if you put me through another person's experience, I would still not fully understand that person's point of view because we go into that situation with our own personality and our own pre-defined assumptions. So at most, I can empathsize, sympathize and understand to a certain degree. But to understand fully.....I think it's quite impossible.

If people say they understand me, I'll look at them with new eyes. Either a. they truly do - which means they have achieved something I've been trying to do for the past 21 years...congrats or b. they think they do - probably they meant it as in they understood the part of me I shown them or c. they are lying. Even I don't understand myself sometimes, so I actually don't really expect anyone to fully understand me. I don't understand people at times too, it actually made me wonder if there's anything wrong with me. But I later just attribute it to the fact that we all see the world with different sets of eyes at different angles anyway.

We all want to be understood....but nobody can fully understand us. So what's left? I think I'll just take the partial understanding offered by humans and leave the full understanding to God.

夏祭り - Summer Festival 2005

2005-08-21T00:16:00.000+08:00

Just came back from Summer Festival 2005....it was my first time joining a natsu matsuri event...thanks to Juanhui for inviting me. I've been looking forward to the festival since the beginning of the week okay....

Haha...the Summer Festival was actually held in Japanese Primary School (which is near Changi). We were slightly late due to the infrequent frequency of the bus. By the time we got there the queue was super duper long and the festival has already started. Well...although we call it festival....it's more like a carnival lah. We actually wanted to rent a yutaka to wear....cause so many people were wearing yutaka but because we were late, the booth seems closed already. Sigh. Anyway we finally managed to purchase the entrance tickets and the coupons after a long long wait.

When we went in, we decided to meet up with Mingxian who was queueing in front of the Scoop-A-Goldfish corner (Gingyou Sukui). Scooping goldfish is a traditional game found in festival celebrations. They'll give you a paper ladle thingie where you try and scoop up some goldfish. If you managed to scoop it, the goldfish is yours. Mingxian introduced his friends, Shumin and Ng wei to us. I saw Shumin previously at the HSA dinner, she was sitting beside me at the same table then. The world is really quite small. Ng wei is supposed to be my kohai (junior) cause he's also an econs major...though he's year 3 now. Shumin and Ng wei had their turns first and Ng wei managed to get 1 gold fish. Then the three decided to get out of the crowd, leaving me and Mingxian standing there trying to "fight" for our turn.....alamak we really show out our Singaporean "kiasu" spirit then sia.....squeezing like nobody's business. I got a turn soon and was really excited cause I always see people do this in anime......wonder how it feel like in real life. After a couple of minutes I managed to get a goldfish. I handed the "ladle" (i dunno wat to call it actually) and the goldfish to the person-in-charge. He told me I can try some more but I say I don't want already.....cause I dun wan so many goldfish mah....and somemore must let people have a chance also right...haha. Then I wait for Mingxian to get his turn. Unfortunately his paper broke but the guy still gave him a goldfish. So now we got 2 goldfish and we are searching for our friends..... I named my goldfish OB1 and Mingxian's goldfish OB2.

Finally we found them at the ice-cream booth. Now that we got three goldfish, I decided to change Mingxian's goldfish's name to Anakin Skywalker and Ng wei's one to Padme. Of course after a while they complain their goldfish will have kids together so somehow they change the goldfish name to Yang Guo n Xiaolongnu......Then the two guys continue to have some conversations - quite "scandalous" sia.....(Juan even have the pic to prove their strangeness.....hahaha). Of course all those jokes were made while gobbling up our ice cream and watching people performing on stage...I think by then the bon-odori (traditional Japanese dance) has started liaoz....

After some discussion, we decided to return the 3 goldfish back....we dun actually want to keep them for long anyway. So mingxian and ng wei left, leaving us 3 girls walking around. We went to the various booth to walk walk and take some photos of the bon-odori. The small kids in yutaka were especially cute. However, because we weren't fast enough, me and juan actually have quite a couple of coupons left. Actually got many food i want to eat....like yakisoba, takoyaki, candy floss etc. But then there were too many people and most were sold out pretty soon. So we just have to exchange all our coupons for 2 cans of beer(summer festival must have 2 things - beer and fireworks). Juan and I took a few sips....and leave the rest to be shared among ming xian and ng wei. Finally, ming xian says he has to rush back for bash (he so on sia....) and me and juan went to try and join in the circle for the bon-odori dance. After trying out one song, we managed to pull the rest to come and dance with us also. We don't really know the steps so we had to mimic the steps of the people around us. It feels a little like mass dance (gd old tjc days...) This time round, the song is changed to Rasa Sayang....so I happily sing the song while waving my hands around.....I'm very patriotic one okay.

After we finish dancing to the song twice, the MC say the festival is over. So we have no choice but the queue for the shuttle bus to bring us back to Tanah Merah MRT station. All in all, the festival was really an eye-opener. However one sad thing is that there's no firework. How can no firework??? I want to see fireworks leh.....(National Day don't count okay....) I want to play those fireworks like people do on tv. Sigh. And oh yah, next year, I'm going to wear yutaka (shd have wore mine.....but I dunno how to tie the obi properly mah....and I din know so many people would wear yutaka also. I wanna pose in yutaka for pictures.....hahaha)

Hopefully I can upload some pics up soon lah, I haven't quite figure out how to transfer pictures from my handphone to my computer.

Can't believe it....

2005-08-15T16:21:00.000+08:00

Okay.....this is going to sound pretty dumb I guess.....but I can't believe that I actually overslept today. By the time I woke up, it was already 11 plus and I can't attend my Japanese Studies lecture.....sobsob. Now I have to sit in front of a computer wondering what the JS lecturer talk about today regarding anime while waiting to go tuition. I even contemplate initally whether to take a cab and rush down to NUS but decided to forget it in the end. So I sit at home, wondering why my ink ran out so fast.....do a simple quick calculation and conclude that printing at home is more economical. Why leh? Because based on my calculations, my ink can last me 400 plus pages - which would cost me $20 dollars if I print the same amount in school. However, my ink cost me $11. I know you must be thinking why I so free to count right.......hahaha.......cause I skipped lecture mah.

Let's see...what other productive things I did today? Erm......I washed two cups and a plate? I surf net and found two more papers for my required reading? I read the JS forum and crack my brain trying to think of interesting topics in anime to post - like why people dislike cosplaying? why shounen-ai anime are targeted at girls? blahblahblah.......okay, it may not sound much but I'm going to do more later. I'm going to hop down Challenger and buy a new ink cartridge, some files (maybe not lah) and print the remaining lecture notes.

Okay lah.....so I didn't do anything much. I blame it all on my bad start of today - I shldn't have oversleep....sobsobsob

Confusing ramblings

2005-08-13T00:44:00.000+08:00

Went to watch the Land of the Dead today with Xinyi and Andy. It's really a gruesome show.......but I feel it's better than the prequel (which is the Dawn of the Dead I think). The idea behind the show to me is quite philosophical. To me: it seems as if the writer is trying to explore the idea of what does it mean to be a human. What really defines a human being? When a zombie can walk, can communicate, can mimic human emotions and rational thinking.....does it make it human? Some parts of the show really portrayed zombies as "victims" even though they were eating humans (in a disgusting way). But what makes the zombies so terrible is that no matter how real they seem, how well they mimic human life.......they are still not human....simply dead bodies inhabitated by viruses.

Today on the bus, I overheard two girls discussing the meaning of life. One girl thinks that we were placed on Earth for a purpose; to experience and learn certain lessons and to touch people's lives. Another girl thinks that life simply happens and there's no purpose to it. Her friend then argued it is better to live life with a purpose than without. From their conversation, it really got me thinking. I can give an answer to that question and the answer is found in the Bible. I remembered Xiumin giving me a book called “The Purpose-Driven Life". There's just so much meaning and purpose in our lives if we experience it together with God. It's almost like wearing glasses.....everything will become much clearer.

During cell group, we were discussing about evolution vs creationism....something sparked off by the sermon given by a professor in our church last sunday. There's a very useful website to refer to: http://www.answersingenesis.org/home/area/qa.asp It talks about questions in creation that people might have. I think it's an interesting website to visit for anyone interested in knowing more about creationism and evolution.

If you are still reading this post by now, you must be thinking in your heart that this is a confusing post. And you are right...sorry lah I'm very tired liaoz and cannot think properly. So many things happen on a single Friday (if I start recounting what happen from 545am until now....it'll take me another hour). My brain is failing me liaoz.

I'll tell you next time lah.....ok.

HSA Dinner

2005-08-10T22:07:00.000+08:00

Today I went to a dinner held by Hiroshima Singapore Association (HSA) at Qian Xi Lou at Civil Service Club. It was a great thing to meet some of my old travel-mates whom I got to know last year through the Hiroshima Homestay Programme. Although we did not sit together around the same table, we managed to take some photos together and update each other of our latest happenings.

I was sitting near Oeda-sensei and was surprised to heard that she's going to teach in England. It's really quite sad.......to think that I'll never see Oeda-sensei in school anymore. I thought she was going to teach Japanese 4 and 5....but unfortunately, she has decided to venture to England. Wish her all the best in everything she do over there.

I also got to meet a few new people - some Japanese students on an exchange program with SP and collected quite a few name cards. And tonight is the night where I think I spoke the most Japanese in quite a while....everyone had to make a small speech and I kinda fumbled mine. Really dunno what to say.......However I didn't eat much. The food was okay....except our table got a little mishap along the way. Turns out a baby crockroach decided to be the extra ingredient in our steamboat...which is kinda disgusting. Quite pai-seh lah.....to let people see our resturant quality like tat.......alamak embarrassed sia.

The one thing I know is that we took lots and lots of photos. I hope someone would send the photos to me....it really brings back good memories of that time in Hiroshima. And I also saw some of my Japanese 3 classmates who also went Hiroshima this year for internship. It was a lively gathering though it took me some time to warm up and dare to speak out with my broken Japanese.

After dinner, Jasmine and I decided to went back home by bus. Jasmine is really very nice to walk me to my 21 bus stop. Unfortunately, it turn out to be hers........we walked for 5 minutes for nothing actually. In the end we both decided to take a cab separately. I had a good time chatting with her about school stuff and a little about her trip in Japan. All in all, I think the dinner turn out to be pretty nice.

Therapuetic Cleaning

2005-08-09T13:51:00.000+08:00

Today is National Day.....yippee....Happy Birthday Singapore!! I remember wishing people a happy national day in my JC Econ's tutorial and making everyone laugh. So during this national holiday, I decided to embark on a meaningful activity: cleaning

Cleaning my room is therapuetic to me. There's a strange sort of satisfaction as you watch the dirt and grime come off under your persistent labor. After hours of hard work, you'll take pride in the fact that the room is sparkling clean and everything is neatly placed because of your toil and labor.

Of course, my room is quite messy usually. It takes effort and time to put everything back in order, throw away things unwanted, and arrange everything nicely. I tried to make my living habitat a more hospitable one.......alas laziness got better of me and I simply throw my notes, books and receipts everywhere. And as time goes by, I slowly got used to the environment. Some part of me realise that it's really unhealthy to be inhaling so much dust, given the sheer amount of time I spent eating, drinking, surfing net and sleeping in my cozy cave. But most part of me simply tried to steer away from that awful realisation.

However, such a grim situation cannot be endured for long. Therefore, I decided to use today, this wonderful public holiday, to clean and scrub clean all the dirt and dusts (and hair....gosh why I drop so much hair....sobsob). It's therapuetic because it's as if I'm cleaning away the months and days of laziness, sloppiness and erm....untidyness.......(I know they all mean the same thing...I'm trying to be impressive here by using big words okay....don't stop me....shoo shoo). And by cleaning, I can pretend for a moment, that I'm cleaning away these flaws.....hahaha

That doesn't mean I'm going to start cleaning consistently.....or I'm going to start doing household chores.....(I might, but not today). But I acknowledge the usefulness of cleaning...and really, if you ever feel down one day, try cleaning your room (if it's in a similar state like mine). There's nothing like a little hard labor to refresh your mind and gives you a new perspective.

My quest for the ultimate UE

2005-08-06T19:24:00.000+08:00

This week I've embarked on a journey to search for the ultimate UE to take to fulfill my module requirement. UE - unrestricted elective can be anything as long as the module is not part of your major. I already had the perfect UE in mind - no exam, with pass-fail option and hopefully not on Tuesday (since it's my only free day so far). Initially, I thought I could take Japanese 4 but the exam date clashed with my econometrics. Sigh. I painfully give up studying japanese in school and surfed around looking for the ultimate UE that can fulfill my requirements.

I looked in other faculties because that's the only way I can S/U my module. I decided to attempt to bid for Financial Market even though it's level 3000 cause there's no exam and can s/u. Somemore the content is regarding banks - something which I would be learning in econs also. But alas, all my planning were foiled by my fellow bidders. I didn't get the module even though I bid 1000 plus pts for it.

By this point, it was already thursday. I'm starting to sweat a little - all the modules I've seen so far either clash with my timetable or my exam timetable or else it's something that I cannot bring myself to study. I decided.....to take up something so utterly foreign yet seemingly interesting - Great Ideas in Contemporary Physics. Can s/u, no exam, somemore not on Tuesday - I really thought it was a module send to me by God. Haha...alas my naive illusions were shattered by my fellow cg-mates. None had a good word to say about that module. All think it's very difficult. They say even engineering students also find it challenging.....and somemore I don't even have O level physics. I go home and reflect - hmmm....it's really crazy sia, to take such a module.

So by then, it's Friday. The last few hours to the end of Round 2B. School is going to start next week liaoz. I aimlessly surf around CORS, thinking that probably there's not much hope liaoz. In a last ditched attempt, I decided to try taking an arts module. In the end, the module I got is Popular Cultures in Contemporary Japan.

This module is the complete opposite of what I ask for - cannot s/u, got exam, somemore tutorial is on Tuesday and must do project ok. So why would I want to give up learning ideas in physics for this? Hahaha.....because I went to ivle and see the course outline and it says

"This module provides an introduction to popular culture in contemporary Japan with particular focus on anime. From the study of various themes in anime, we will look at how they reflect or negate issues and dilemnas in Japanese society as a whole. The goal is to look at issues like love, war, what it is to be human, what life will look like in the future, nature, ambition and striving, what is the essence of masculinity and femininity, and Japan as a nation. It is not just about anime itself, it is what we can learn about Japanese society through anime. "

"(2) Anime Reviews/weekly assignments (10%)
You will need to do a short weekly assignment, including a number of one-page anime reviews. More details on this later. Some of this work can be done as a group if you prefer."

It got all things I hate and one thing I love - anime. Haha.....when I saw that, I was thinking - physics or anime.

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Wah lau no comparision lah......of course I choose anime over Sir Issac Newton and Einstein lah. So now, I'm going to start watching more anime for homework okay.....don't play play ah. Of couse it's has nothing to do with personal entertainment - I'm sincerely trying to discover the themes of friendship, love and personal integrity within the colourful moving pictures.

Be prepared now - the quest for ultimate UE may be over, but the quest for the ultimate anime has begun....bwahahahaha.

The purpose of writing

2005-08-05T13:07:00.000+08:00

To me, the purpose of writing a blog varies. Even the meaning of the word "blog" means different things to different people. Some may write for the sake of letting their friends know them better or update their friends with the latest ongoing in their lives. Others may write for the sake of having an outlet to express their views or putting their inner reflections into words. Still, there are also plenty out there who write for the sake of promoting some ideology or seeking fame. Of course, all these reasons may not be exclusive - I think that most of a time it could be a mixture or the reason for writing may change over time.

Writing a blog is similar to keeping a diary but will never be the same. A diary is something that you write knowing nobody would read. A blog is something you write knowing somebody would read. This fundamental difference means that treating a blog as a diary would never be feasible (unless you locked all your entries). Since writing a blog entails the possiblity that someone is reading, we bloggers ought to have a certain amount of responsibility and consideration towards our readers. A person may argue that a blog is their own personal journal and as such, they have the right to write in whatever manner they wish. However, let us not forget that rights and responsibilities come hand in hand. The culture of rights without obligations is just a facade for human selfishness - for that is just what is happening right now. We are all clamouring for our rights, but seldom do I hear anyone stand up and clamour for obligations. If we do not fulfill our obligation towards readers (potential ones included), our right to write will soon be taken away.

I write for many reasons. One is to express my views and practice putting what I think into words. Another reason is to let people know me better. I'm trying to express myself, yet I know I may fall into the trap of creating an "online personality" where I write to protray to others someone whom I am not in reality. If you think so, then feel free to discuss with me what I said on my blog personally. I'll entertain you.....even buy you drink (dream on). But be kind to me k, I'm a poor struggling student trying to find myself and risk having an identity crisis in this everchanging world. Sigh.

A new low

2005-08-05T01:11:00.000+08:00

Recently I sunk to a new low. For people who don't know, I'm an avivd star wars fan. And as such, I take it upon my shoulders to know everything a proper fan should know. It's not enough that I have seen the 6 movies, lurk around in forums and ljs, bought the star wars t-shirt - no I have to go a step further and read the star wars novels.....

Reading star wars novels by itself is not bad...what is really bad is that I borrowed the series I wanted from the JUNIOR section of national library. Imagine me, a 22 year old girl seen scurrying around the junior section of the library, clutching 3 books possessively and trying to avoid running over little kids. This must be the biggest sacrifice I've ever made for Anakin Skywalker.....(the one where I book the tickets online weeks before Revenge of the Sith doesn't count) I have to face the curious looks of children and their parents and tried to pretend in vain that the books were not meant for me. Somehow, I don't think it worked. Okay.....it may be an exaggeration but I truly felt out of place standing among shelves as tall as me.

Jude Watson's Jedi Apprentice and Jedi Quest series were wonderful insights into what happen before the prequels (the training of Obi-Wan) and between episode 1 and 2 (the training of Anakin Skywalker). I just don't understand why she must write for junior readers..... I mean a lot of star wars fans are adults too right. But come again, if she were to write like Timothy Zahn, I think I'll find it a bit hard to swallow.

Anyway, I just realise from Xinyi that not everyone has chinese software in their computer. Although I wrote my name on msn, it only appeared as two blocks to her. Hence from now on, I have a new name: two blocks. You can only call me that if you don't have chinese software in your com ok.

The apprentice

2005-08-01T14:53:00.000+08:00

I watched The Apprentice yesterday on Channel 5. It's the first time I think I managed to sit through one whole episode. I think it's quite a feat because as you all know, I'm not really a fan of reality shows. And that includes everything from Survivor to American Idol...sigh.

But as I watched The Apprentice yesterday, I began to see that reality shows do have their own charm. And there are life lessons to be learnt in this game. (even though I'm still wondering if the producers orchestrated the plot or not)

The lesson I learnt yesterday: Being a team player is really very important, but being on good terms with everyone alone doesn't guarantee success. Ya gotta have some real talent.

The second lesson: Don't think that just because everyone agree with you, you will have your way. And worse....don't try to pressurize the big boss into letting you have your way just because everyone agrees with you. He's still the boss.

The third lesson: Play by the rules. Respect authority. The rules are there for a reason. If you change rules just because things don't go your way, you'll lose credibility and authority. No one will respect a leader who is fickle-minded.

Well, although I feel sorry for Danny who was fired, I gotta admit that Donald Trump made some valid points. It sucks to have someone like Michael on the team but that doesn't mean that the team is doom just because of a negative person. If anyone's interested, here's a link to more http://www.nbc.com/nbc/The_Apprentice_3/lessons_learned/020305.shtml

As far as reality shows go....this may be one that I'll continue watching. Even though I went ahead and spoil myself by looking at the official website and discovering who's the final winner. But hey, guess what, I heard Martha Stewart is going to be in for the next season of The Apprentice.

A pleasant surprise

2005-07-31T00:18:00.000+08:00

I was pleasantly surprised when I received a letter today from Synovate and a cheque of $10. It may not seem like much but I was surprised because seriously lah....I didn't think they were for real. I mean it sounds kinda like those fakey advertising gimmicks to me initially. Well, I haven't cash the check yet....dunno whether it will rebound or not so I'm still crossing my fingers. But at least, it made me happy for 10 seconds. Though the cynic within me is still thinking that there must be a hidden catch somewhere.

Anyway, today I went to Coffee Club with Xinyi, Shannon and Andy at Hollond Village. Being the extra person that I am, I decided to order Tiramisu latte. Although it has such a super low alcohol content, I end up with my cheeks all flushed red. I guess my alcoholic tolerance is really low sia.

Shannon shared something regarding prophecy that gave me a fresh perspective. It's really interesting...what he just said. We end up having an interesting conversation about the Book of Revelation and the end times. Too bad Peiwen's busy with her cousin's wedding and Wayne is at his friend's birthday party and they both cannot join us.

Interestingly, I also saw Pastor Rony's books available for loan in the national library. I thought of borrowing rock foundation and firm foundation to prepare for baptism class but I decided against it in the end. One reason is because baptism class is already over, and the second reason is because I felt that it's actually better to buy the books. Some of the topics covered were pretty basic but there may come a time where I need to refer to the basic truths once more anyway. I shall not be so cheapo and borrow the books in case one day I will need them.

Sentimentalism

2005-07-29T15:43:00.000+08:00

I'm a very sentimental person. Don't laugh, it's true. I spent a sizable amount of my time going through what happened in the past and reminiscing. I'm so bloody sentimental that I kept all the letters that anyone has ever wrote to me, kept my primary school autograph book, most of the story books I ever owned since young, the gifts that people gifted me with and yes...even the past semesters' lecture notes. I even wrote a diary when I was young, kept it even though I never updated it and occassionally flip through it to laugh at the antics of my youth.

As such, I'm especially sensitive to the flow of time. I often wondered about this strange thing called time: past, present and future. And I came to the conclusion that time only consist of past and future and present is something like a point that just keeps moving. And I used to wonder about time travelling and what will I do, if one day I wake up in the past. What events will I change? What kind of new insights will I gain, reliving what had happened with the "wisdom" I gained now? Will I do things differently? Or will I be contend to allow things remain as they are?

Then I realise that the reason why I think like this is because I cannot let go. To want to change something in the past means that somewhere in your heart, you regret something. An author once said that regret is the most useless emotion. I don't agree, but I do think that obesessing over events long past is pointless. And I realise that forgetfulness can be a gift at times, to help people to move on. It is quite foolish to waste your time on something you can't change instead on using it something you can.

The truth is, we only have a limited amount of time. The past memories are nostalgic simply because they are already gone. Therefore, they are perfected in our memories. To long for something already gone is fine, but not at the expense of the present. I would like to say cherish the present, except I'm of the opinion that you can never fully cherish something until it's gone. I guess it depends on your definition of cherish.

I used to remember people saying that food taste better in the past than now. I wonder if it really taste better, or because it's already in the past, therefore, it become "perfect" in our mind? I guess I'll never know the answer anyway, because past and present can never meet. Once past was present, and in time, present will become past. The truth is time never quite stop moving whether you like it or not.

Of course, I will wonder about the future also. About how I will think 10 years later. Will I laugh at what I'm writing now? Or will I smile nostalgically? I guess I'll know in 10 years time. Provided someone remind me lah. Things that matter a lot to me now probably will become pointless 10 years down the road.

The difference between blogger and lj

2005-07-29T11:41:00.000+08:00

After spending some time exploring the functions of blogger and having been a past user of lj, I must say that there are really many differences between these two platforms. For one thing, I like lj better. Because lj is a means by which I interact and participate in communities. Yeah....if you are asking, yes, they are anime-related. Communities are fun because they all share resources freely and the people there are pretty nice. In this sense, lj is more interactive. Blogs are places where you post your own thoughts and reflections. Although people can take turns to write a blog also, (I have seen group blogs) but the amount of participation is usually less.

Another reason why I like lj is because there's such a thing as lj-cut. That means you can hide the rest of your post behind a cut and not have to worry about cluttering the first page. I usually use lj-cut if I want to post anything spoilerish. Cause I don't want people to complain to me how they are accidentally spoilt by reading my post.....Personally I eat and breathe spoilers for shows that I like to watch anyway.

The last reason why I like lj.....you can friend-locked certain posts. That means if an entry is too private, you can locked it so that only your friends can view it. I'm not sure if blogger can do that too since I'm not yet familiar with blogger.

But blogger does have it's advantages too. Layout is nice and easier to manipulate. And simple things like font changing and bolding can be done easily too. Blogger really allows you to change a lot of things very easily. If I'm not wrong, I think you need some html in order to change the fonts used in lj. The editor in blogger is far easier. I guess maybe because I start off using lj, lj will always have a special place in my heart. I'm such a sentimental person....hahah.....

My first post

2005-07-28T02:46:00.000+08:00

After much prodding and poking by my dear friend Xinyi, I have decided to start writing a blog. Hope I can keep it up lah....cause I know I'm the kind of person that don't have much fuel one. It's probably going to be boring, you know, with the rants and ravings of someone who thinks she knows a lot but end up knowing little. But hey, guess what, at least I acknowledge that I don't know a lot. I'm just like Socrates this way. I guess it's true that great minds think alike. *ducks flying tomatoes*

Ahem, since it's just the first post, I think maybe I should explain the name concentrical. It's acutally the same meaning as concentric...according to dictionary.com, concentrical means having a common center; like for example "concentric rings"

If you think I'm trying to act smart, you are wrong lor. Anyone who watched the 7.00pm drama on Channel 8 should know this word. It's 同心圆 lah.....I don't watch TV I also know got this drama leh.......you watch liao still dunno the meaning then it's your fault for not being as nerd as me lor. Or else you must be very busy; no time to go www.dictionary.com to check up the meaning of this fascinating word.

Life is concentrical because I think we all have a common center. And hopefully we can discover this common center once more. By the way, this doesn't mean I endorse Channel 8 shows. I am still of the opinion that channel 8 dramas still need some plot tweaking. And less clinches. They better consider hiring me as their new scriptwriter sia.....hahahaha