Sentimentalism
I'm a very sentimental person. Don't laugh, it's true. I spent a sizable amount of my time going through what happened in the past and reminiscing. I'm so bloody sentimental that I kept all the letters that anyone has ever wrote to me, kept my primary school autograph book, most of the story books I ever owned since young, the gifts that people gifted me with and yes...even the past semesters' lecture notes. I even wrote a diary when I was young, kept it even though I never updated it and occassionally flip through it to laugh at the antics of my youth.
As such, I'm especially sensitive to the flow of time. I often wondered about this strange thing called time: past, present and future. And I came to the conclusion that time only consist of past and future and present is something like a point that just keeps moving. And I used to wonder about time travelling and what will I do, if one day I wake up in the past. What events will I change? What kind of new insights will I gain, reliving what had happened with the "wisdom" I gained now? Will I do things differently? Or will I be contend to allow things remain as they are?
Then I realise that the reason why I think like this is because I cannot let go. To want to change something in the past means that somewhere in your heart, you regret something. An author once said that regret is the most useless emotion. I don't agree, but I do think that obesessing over events long past is pointless. And I realise that forgetfulness can be a gift at times, to help people to move on. It is quite foolish to waste your time on something you can't change instead on using it something you can.
The truth is, we only have a limited amount of time. The past memories are nostalgic simply because they are already gone. Therefore, they are perfected in our memories. To long for something already gone is fine, but not at the expense of the present. I would like to say cherish the present, except I'm of the opinion that you can never fully cherish something until it's gone. I guess it depends on your definition of cherish.
I used to remember people saying that food taste better in the past than now. I wonder if it really taste better, or because it's already in the past, therefore, it become "perfect" in our mind? I guess I'll never know the answer anyway, because past and present can never meet. Once past was present, and in time, present will become past. The truth is time never quite stop moving whether you like it or not.
Of course, I will wonder about the future also. About how I will think 10 years later. Will I laugh at what I'm writing now? Or will I smile nostalgically? I guess I'll know in 10 years time. Provided someone remind me lah. Things that matter a lot to me now probably will become pointless 10 years down the road.
As such, I'm especially sensitive to the flow of time. I often wondered about this strange thing called time: past, present and future. And I came to the conclusion that time only consist of past and future and present is something like a point that just keeps moving. And I used to wonder about time travelling and what will I do, if one day I wake up in the past. What events will I change? What kind of new insights will I gain, reliving what had happened with the "wisdom" I gained now? Will I do things differently? Or will I be contend to allow things remain as they are?
Then I realise that the reason why I think like this is because I cannot let go. To want to change something in the past means that somewhere in your heart, you regret something. An author once said that regret is the most useless emotion. I don't agree, but I do think that obesessing over events long past is pointless. And I realise that forgetfulness can be a gift at times, to help people to move on. It is quite foolish to waste your time on something you can't change instead on using it something you can.
The truth is, we only have a limited amount of time. The past memories are nostalgic simply because they are already gone. Therefore, they are perfected in our memories. To long for something already gone is fine, but not at the expense of the present. I would like to say cherish the present, except I'm of the opinion that you can never fully cherish something until it's gone. I guess it depends on your definition of cherish.
I used to remember people saying that food taste better in the past than now. I wonder if it really taste better, or because it's already in the past, therefore, it become "perfect" in our mind? I guess I'll never know the answer anyway, because past and present can never meet. Once past was present, and in time, present will become past. The truth is time never quite stop moving whether you like it or not.
Of course, I will wonder about the future also. About how I will think 10 years later. Will I laugh at what I'm writing now? Or will I smile nostalgically? I guess I'll know in 10 years time. Provided someone remind me lah. Things that matter a lot to me now probably will become pointless 10 years down the road.
posted by mikage at
3:43 PM
0 Comments:
Post a Comment
<< Home