The only reason....
sigh.....seriously the only reason why i din update my blog for soooo long is because i'm busy. busy with wat.......i'm not very sure myself either. i just 有一天过一天. i guess i could have said i am busy with school work but that's not entirely true. in fact, i did do lots of school stuff but the strange thing is; i felt like i'm doing a lot and yet nothing at the same time. last time i do things as they come, but now, i spend my time plotting wat to do in advance so that i can free up my time.......including making plans for tuition and stuff. if i sit down and honestly assess myself, i can say i'm not entirely tat busy.....in the sense that i still got enough time to surf net, d/l stuff and generally entertain myself. but i'm not as free as i'm used to be - able to watch so much anime and spend hours online.....i guess i really have to lower my expectations of wat i can and cannot do.....
of course, i'm not unhappy lah......as a matter of fact, i'm quite proud of myself for learning not to procrastinate anymore and doing things in advance. it's really a great stress-reliver - to be able to do things systematically and planning things. but the strange thing is.......i feel sorry that although i did stuff - they are not really the things tat i wan to do.....for example, i wan to read my readings, but i'm busy with tutorials. or i wan to study japanese....but i gotta give tuition....it's really a tradeoff and i need to use all my econs knowledge to deal with this scarcity of time - cost n benefits ya know.
well, when i plan things in advance, i dun feel so stress with myself.....i guess i'm sort of the kind of person that has high expectation on myself (kind of lah...but not quite also). i like to feel like i've done something productive....does it make me a workaholic? haha.....i guess i must be masochistic also.....cause i like to give myself trouble by adding my own workload and doing extra stuff (like learning japanese during my free time)
n if u ask me y i din put capital letters in this post....the reason is.....laziness.......hahaha.....tat's all seriously. pls dun read btw the lines n over analyze.....like how my teacher quote the sociology example of donald duck being example of white supremacy simply because it is.....white. i seriously dunno whether to believe her or not.....^_^
of course, i'm not unhappy lah......as a matter of fact, i'm quite proud of myself for learning not to procrastinate anymore and doing things in advance. it's really a great stress-reliver - to be able to do things systematically and planning things. but the strange thing is.......i feel sorry that although i did stuff - they are not really the things tat i wan to do.....for example, i wan to read my readings, but i'm busy with tutorials. or i wan to study japanese....but i gotta give tuition....it's really a tradeoff and i need to use all my econs knowledge to deal with this scarcity of time - cost n benefits ya know.
well, when i plan things in advance, i dun feel so stress with myself.....i guess i'm sort of the kind of person that has high expectation on myself (kind of lah...but not quite also). i like to feel like i've done something productive....does it make me a workaholic? haha.....i guess i must be masochistic also.....cause i like to give myself trouble by adding my own workload and doing extra stuff (like learning japanese during my free time)
n if u ask me y i din put capital letters in this post....the reason is.....laziness.......hahaha.....tat's all seriously. pls dun read btw the lines n over analyze.....like how my teacher quote the sociology example of donald duck being example of white supremacy simply because it is.....white. i seriously dunno whether to believe her or not.....^_^
posted by mikage at
3:31 PM
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