Morbid topic

Just finished watching the third episode of Densha Otoko and surfing around the lj looking for more info on next few episodes when I come across this unique LJ community.....it's a community that lists the livejournals of people who passed away.

It's really scary........to read the online diaries of people not in this world anymore: it makes death seem so....I dunno....so near. They wrote their posts just like us, their diaries were like those of any people now blogging. I know it sounds maybe stupid, but when you read some of their journals, you will realise that death does not give us a warning. It can happen anytime and anyplace. Life is indeed so precious. One person was even talking about graduation.....and now, the person is no longer in this world.

If I know I'm going to die, I think the most important thing I want to make sure is that my relationship with God is right. I think we often don't want to discuss death because it seems like something that is so far away. There are so many "important" things now; studies, relationships, friends, having fun, making the most out of our time...yet at the moment when we are about to breathe our last.....what can be the only thing that matter? In the face of death, no matter how smart you are, how many As you get, how much money you have........it all doesn't matter. All those years of hurts and misunderstandings.....it all doesn't matter anymore. Death just cancels everything out. For Christians, we believed that we will be reunite in heaven. That is one of the best promises that anyone can have.....the promise of having no eternal separation from our fellow believers in Christ. And that is one big promise that erases the fear of death. I'm not saying that those things are not important - I'm just trying to say that we should not live as if we are going to live on this earth forever.

It's a morbid topic - death. But it happens. Just because you don't think about it doesn't mean it's not there. And please.....cherish life. I believe no matter how awful things are.....God will always provide a way out. And no matter what we do, God's love is never far away. Nothing can separate us from His love - we just have to believe it. Death may be inevitable but it's up to us to choose how to live our lives on earth - happily or not....

Laughter is the best medicine

I think people who've been around me much will realise that I like to laugh a lot. And now I found an article online which details all the health benefits of laughter. So laugh now.....because it's good for you.

http://www.helpguide.org/life/humor_laughter_health.htm

This article really covers a lot on laughter: like for example, how does laughter improves mental and physical health, how to bring humor into our lives, how to make sure our humor won't offend people, the differences between hurtful and healthful laughter and also a list of online links - including an archive on clean jokes (special emphasis because I feel that there's a tendency for people to think that all jokes must be "dirty" to be funny). I think after reading this, you guys should laugh more. Or at least smile once per day.....it's a simple activity that costs you nothing and can brighten up someone's life. (sounds clinched but it's true)

Of course, don't just focus on laughing lah.....laugh too much probably is not good also. Must have balance okay.....

P.S In case you cannot laugh........(somewhere along the lines of constipation only in terms of humor :P) I got some jokes for you from http://netec.mcc.ac.uk/JokEc.html It's all economists and economics joke btw.

TOP 10 REASONS TO STUDY ECONOMICS
1. Economists are armed and dangerous: "Watch out for our invisible hands."
2. Economists can supply it on demand.
3. You can talk about money without every having to make any.
4. You get to say "trickle down" with a straight face.
5. Mick Jagger and Arnold Schwarzenegger both studied economics and look how they turned out.
6. When you are in the unemployment line, at least you will know why you are there.
7. If you rearrange the letters in "ECONOMICS", you get "COMIC NOSE".
8. Although ethics teaches that virtue is its own reward, in economics we get taught that reward is its own virtue.
9. When you get drunk, you can tell everyone that you are just researching the law of diminishing marginal utility.
10. When you call 1-900-LUV-ECON and get Kandi Keynes, you will have something to talk about.

Fresh perspective

You know, I used to think that if I explain my reasoning to someone, or if they explain their reasoning to me nicely, we would come to see each other's point of view. But the truth is.....it doesn't happen this way. Sometimes, I'm really surprised by my lack of understanding and also secretly complain in my heart that people don't really understand me. But of course, I realise that that is to be expected. You see, we all have a different set of values, experiences and our own unique way of perceiving things. How can a human being fully understand another? Only God can do that. We can only understand people based on our own experiences, our own perception coupled with things like compassion or empathy. But even if you put me through another person's experience, I would still not fully understand that person's point of view because we go into that situation with our own personality and our own pre-defined assumptions. So at most, I can empathsize, sympathize and understand to a certain degree. But to understand fully.....I think it's quite impossible.

If people say they understand me, I'll look at them with new eyes. Either a. they truly do - which means they have achieved something I've been trying to do for the past 21 years...congrats or b. they think they do - probably they meant it as in they understood the part of me I shown them or c. they are lying. Even I don't understand myself sometimes, so I actually don't really expect anyone to fully understand me. I don't understand people at times too, it actually made me wonder if there's anything wrong with me. But I later just attribute it to the fact that we all see the world with different sets of eyes at different angles anyway.

We all want to be understood....but nobody can fully understand us. So what's left? I think I'll just take the partial understanding offered by humans and leave the full understanding to God.

夏祭り - Summer Festival 2005

Just came back from Summer Festival 2005....it was my first time joining a natsu matsuri event...thanks to Juanhui for inviting me. I've been looking forward to the festival since the beginning of the week okay....

Haha...the Summer Festival was actually held in Japanese Primary School (which is near Changi). We were slightly late due to the infrequent frequency of the bus. By the time we got there the queue was super duper long and the festival has already started. Well...although we call it festival....it's more like a carnival lah. We actually wanted to rent a yutaka to wear....cause so many people were wearing yutaka but because we were late, the booth seems closed already. Sigh. Anyway we finally managed to purchase the entrance tickets and the coupons after a long long wait.

When we went in, we decided to meet up with Mingxian who was queueing in front of the Scoop-A-Goldfish corner (Gingyou Sukui). Scooping goldfish is a traditional game found in festival celebrations. They'll give you a paper ladle thingie where you try and scoop up some goldfish. If you managed to scoop it, the goldfish is yours. Mingxian introduced his friends, Shumin and Ng wei to us. I saw Shumin previously at the HSA dinner, she was sitting beside me at the same table then. The world is really quite small. Ng wei is supposed to be my kohai (junior) cause he's also an econs major...though he's year 3 now. Shumin and Ng wei had their turns first and Ng wei managed to get 1 gold fish. Then the three decided to get out of the crowd, leaving me and Mingxian standing there trying to "fight" for our turn.....alamak we really show out our Singaporean "kiasu" spirit then sia.....squeezing like nobody's business. I got a turn soon and was really excited cause I always see people do this in anime......wonder how it feel like in real life. After a couple of minutes I managed to get a goldfish. I handed the "ladle" (i dunno wat to call it actually) and the goldfish to the person-in-charge. He told me I can try some more but I say I don't want already.....cause I dun wan so many goldfish mah....and somemore must let people have a chance also right...haha. Then I wait for Mingxian to get his turn. Unfortunately his paper broke but the guy still gave him a goldfish. So now we got 2 goldfish and we are searching for our friends..... I named my goldfish OB1 and Mingxian's goldfish OB2.

Finally we found them at the ice-cream booth. Now that we got three goldfish, I decided to change Mingxian's goldfish's name to Anakin Skywalker and Ng wei's one to Padme. Of course after a while they complain their goldfish will have kids together so somehow they change the goldfish name to Yang Guo n Xiaolongnu......Then the two guys continue to have some conversations - quite "scandalous" sia.....(Juan even have the pic to prove their strangeness.....hahaha). Of course all those jokes were made while gobbling up our ice cream and watching people performing on stage...I think by then the bon-odori (traditional Japanese dance) has started liaoz....

After some discussion, we decided to return the 3 goldfish back....we dun actually want to keep them for long anyway. So mingxian and ng wei left, leaving us 3 girls walking around. We went to the various booth to walk walk and take some photos of the bon-odori. The small kids in yutaka were especially cute. However, because we weren't fast enough, me and juan actually have quite a couple of coupons left. Actually got many food i want to eat....like yakisoba, takoyaki, candy floss etc. But then there were too many people and most were sold out pretty soon. So we just have to exchange all our coupons for 2 cans of beer(summer festival must have 2 things - beer and fireworks). Juan and I took a few sips....and leave the rest to be shared among ming xian and ng wei. Finally, ming xian says he has to rush back for bash (he so on sia....) and me and juan went to try and join in the circle for the bon-odori dance. After trying out one song, we managed to pull the rest to come and dance with us also. We don't really know the steps so we had to mimic the steps of the people around us. It feels a little like mass dance (gd old tjc days...) This time round, the song is changed to Rasa Sayang....so I happily sing the song while waving my hands around.....I'm very patriotic one okay.

After we finish dancing to the song twice, the MC say the festival is over. So we have no choice but the queue for the shuttle bus to bring us back to Tanah Merah MRT station. All in all, the festival was really an eye-opener. However one sad thing is that there's no firework. How can no firework??? I want to see fireworks leh.....(National Day don't count okay....) I want to play those fireworks like people do on tv. Sigh. And oh yah, next year, I'm going to wear yutaka (shd have wore mine.....but I dunno how to tie the obi properly mah....and I din know so many people would wear yutaka also. I wanna pose in yutaka for pictures.....hahaha)

Hopefully I can upload some pics up soon lah, I haven't quite figure out how to transfer pictures from my handphone to my computer.

Can't believe it....

Okay.....this is going to sound pretty dumb I guess.....but I can't believe that I actually overslept today. By the time I woke up, it was already 11 plus and I can't attend my Japanese Studies lecture.....sobsob. Now I have to sit in front of a computer wondering what the JS lecturer talk about today regarding anime while waiting to go tuition. I even contemplate initally whether to take a cab and rush down to NUS but decided to forget it in the end. So I sit at home, wondering why my ink ran out so fast.....do a simple quick calculation and conclude that printing at home is more economical. Why leh? Because based on my calculations, my ink can last me 400 plus pages - which would cost me $20 dollars if I print the same amount in school. However, my ink cost me $11. I know you must be thinking why I so free to count right.......hahaha.......cause I skipped lecture mah.

Let's see...what other productive things I did today? Erm......I washed two cups and a plate? I surf net and found two more papers for my required reading? I read the JS forum and crack my brain trying to think of interesting topics in anime to post - like why people dislike cosplaying? why shounen-ai anime are targeted at girls? blahblahblah.......okay, it may not sound much but I'm going to do more later. I'm going to hop down Challenger and buy a new ink cartridge, some files (maybe not lah) and print the remaining lecture notes.

Okay lah.....so I didn't do anything much. I blame it all on my bad start of today - I shldn't have oversleep....sobsobsob

Confusing ramblings

Went to watch the Land of the Dead today with Xinyi and Andy. It's really a gruesome show.......but I feel it's better than the prequel (which is the Dawn of the Dead I think). The idea behind the show to me is quite philosophical. To me: it seems as if the writer is trying to explore the idea of what does it mean to be a human. What really defines a human being? When a zombie can walk, can communicate, can mimic human emotions and rational thinking.....does it make it human? Some parts of the show really portrayed zombies as "victims" even though they were eating humans (in a disgusting way). But what makes the zombies so terrible is that no matter how real they seem, how well they mimic human life.......they are still not human....simply dead bodies inhabitated by viruses.

Today on the bus, I overheard two girls discussing the meaning of life. One girl thinks that we were placed on Earth for a purpose; to experience and learn certain lessons and to touch people's lives. Another girl thinks that life simply happens and there's no purpose to it. Her friend then argued it is better to live life with a purpose than without. From their conversation, it really got me thinking. I can give an answer to that question and the answer is found in the Bible. I remembered Xiumin giving me a book called “The Purpose-Driven Life". There's just so much meaning and purpose in our lives if we experience it together with God. It's almost like wearing glasses.....everything will become much clearer.

During cell group, we were discussing about evolution vs creationism....something sparked off by the sermon given by a professor in our church last sunday. There's a very useful website to refer to: http://www.answersingenesis.org/home/area/qa.asp It talks about questions in creation that people might have. I think it's an interesting website to visit for anyone interested in knowing more about creationism and evolution.

If you are still reading this post by now, you must be thinking in your heart that this is a confusing post. And you are right...sorry lah I'm very tired liaoz and cannot think properly. So many things happen on a single Friday (if I start recounting what happen from 545am until now....it'll take me another hour). My brain is failing me liaoz.

I'll tell you next time lah.....ok.

HSA Dinner

Today I went to a dinner held by Hiroshima Singapore Association (HSA) at Qian Xi Lou at Civil Service Club. It was a great thing to meet some of my old travel-mates whom I got to know last year through the Hiroshima Homestay Programme. Although we did not sit together around the same table, we managed to take some photos together and update each other of our latest happenings.

I was sitting near Oeda-sensei and was surprised to heard that she's going to teach in England. It's really quite sad.......to think that I'll never see Oeda-sensei in school anymore. I thought she was going to teach Japanese 4 and 5....but unfortunately, she has decided to venture to England. Wish her all the best in everything she do over there.

I also got to meet a few new people - some Japanese students on an exchange program with SP and collected quite a few name cards. And tonight is the night where I think I spoke the most Japanese in quite a while....everyone had to make a small speech and I kinda fumbled mine. Really dunno what to say.......However I didn't eat much. The food was okay....except our table got a little mishap along the way. Turns out a baby crockroach decided to be the extra ingredient in our steamboat...which is kinda disgusting. Quite pai-seh lah.....to let people see our resturant quality like tat.......alamak embarrassed sia.

The one thing I know is that we took lots and lots of photos. I hope someone would send the photos to me....it really brings back good memories of that time in Hiroshima. And I also saw some of my Japanese 3 classmates who also went Hiroshima this year for internship. It was a lively gathering though it took me some time to warm up and dare to speak out with my broken Japanese.

After dinner, Jasmine and I decided to went back home by bus. Jasmine is really very nice to walk me to my 21 bus stop. Unfortunately, it turn out to be hers........we walked for 5 minutes for nothing actually. In the end we both decided to take a cab separately. I had a good time chatting with her about school stuff and a little about her trip in Japan. All in all, I think the dinner turn out to be pretty nice.

Therapuetic Cleaning

Today is National Day.....yippee....Happy Birthday Singapore!! I remember wishing people a happy national day in my JC Econ's tutorial and making everyone laugh. So during this national holiday, I decided to embark on a meaningful activity: cleaning

Cleaning my room is therapuetic to me. There's a strange sort of satisfaction as you watch the dirt and grime come off under your persistent labor. After hours of hard work, you'll take pride in the fact that the room is sparkling clean and everything is neatly placed because of your toil and labor.

Of course, my room is quite messy usually. It takes effort and time to put everything back in order, throw away things unwanted, and arrange everything nicely. I tried to make my living habitat a more hospitable one.......alas laziness got better of me and I simply throw my notes, books and receipts everywhere. And as time goes by, I slowly got used to the environment. Some part of me realise that it's really unhealthy to be inhaling so much dust, given the sheer amount of time I spent eating, drinking, surfing net and sleeping in my cozy cave. But most part of me simply tried to steer away from that awful realisation.

However, such a grim situation cannot be endured for long. Therefore, I decided to use today, this wonderful public holiday, to clean and scrub clean all the dirt and dusts (and hair....gosh why I drop so much hair....sobsob). It's therapuetic because it's as if I'm cleaning away the months and days of laziness, sloppiness and erm....untidyness.......(I know they all mean the same thing...I'm trying to be impressive here by using big words okay....don't stop me....shoo shoo). And by cleaning, I can pretend for a moment, that I'm cleaning away these flaws.....hahaha

That doesn't mean I'm going to start cleaning consistently.....or I'm going to start doing household chores.....(I might, but not today). But I acknowledge the usefulness of cleaning...and really, if you ever feel down one day, try cleaning your room (if it's in a similar state like mine). There's nothing like a little hard labor to refresh your mind and gives you a new perspective.

My quest for the ultimate UE

This week I've embarked on a journey to search for the ultimate UE to take to fulfill my module requirement. UE - unrestricted elective can be anything as long as the module is not part of your major. I already had the perfect UE in mind - no exam, with pass-fail option and hopefully not on Tuesday (since it's my only free day so far). Initially, I thought I could take Japanese 4 but the exam date clashed with my econometrics. Sigh. I painfully give up studying japanese in school and surfed around looking for the ultimate UE that can fulfill my requirements.

I looked in other faculties because that's the only way I can S/U my module. I decided to attempt to bid for Financial Market even though it's level 3000 cause there's no exam and can s/u. Somemore the content is regarding banks - something which I would be learning in econs also. But alas, all my planning were foiled by my fellow bidders. I didn't get the module even though I bid 1000 plus pts for it.

By this point, it was already thursday. I'm starting to sweat a little - all the modules I've seen so far either clash with my timetable or my exam timetable or else it's something that I cannot bring myself to study. I decided.....to take up something so utterly foreign yet seemingly interesting - Great Ideas in Contemporary Physics. Can s/u, no exam, somemore not on Tuesday - I really thought it was a module send to me by God. Haha...alas my naive illusions were shattered by my fellow cg-mates. None had a good word to say about that module. All think it's very difficult. They say even engineering students also find it challenging.....and somemore I don't even have O level physics. I go home and reflect - hmmm....it's really crazy sia, to take such a module.

So by then, it's Friday. The last few hours to the end of Round 2B. School is going to start next week liaoz. I aimlessly surf around CORS, thinking that probably there's not much hope liaoz. In a last ditched attempt, I decided to try taking an arts module. In the end, the module I got is Popular Cultures in Contemporary Japan.

This module is the complete opposite of what I ask for - cannot s/u, got exam, somemore tutorial is on Tuesday and must do project ok. So why would I want to give up learning ideas in physics for this? Hahaha.....because I went to ivle and see the course outline and it says

"This module provides an introduction to popular culture in contemporary Japan with particular focus on anime. From the study of various themes in anime, we will look at how they reflect or negate issues and dilemnas in Japanese society as a whole. The goal is to look at issues like love, war, what it is to be human, what life will look like in the future, nature, ambition and striving, what is the essence of masculinity and femininity, and Japan as a nation. It is not just about anime itself, it is what we can learn about Japanese society through anime. "


"(2) Anime Reviews/weekly assignments (10%)
You will need to do a short weekly assignment, including a number of one-page anime reviews. More details on this later. Some of this work can be done as a group if you prefer."

It got all things I hate and one thing I love - anime. Haha.....when I saw that, I was thinking - physics or anime.

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Wah lau no comparision lah......of course I choose anime over Sir Issac Newton and Einstein lah. So now, I'm going to start watching more anime for homework okay.....don't play play ah. Of couse it's has nothing to do with personal entertainment - I'm sincerely trying to discover the themes of friendship, love and personal integrity within the colourful moving pictures.

Be prepared now - the quest for ultimate UE may be over, but the quest for the ultimate anime has begun....bwahahahaha.

The purpose of writing

To me, the purpose of writing a blog varies. Even the meaning of the word "blog" means different things to different people. Some may write for the sake of letting their friends know them better or update their friends with the latest ongoing in their lives. Others may write for the sake of having an outlet to express their views or putting their inner reflections into words. Still, there are also plenty out there who write for the sake of promoting some ideology or seeking fame. Of course, all these reasons may not be exclusive - I think that most of a time it could be a mixture or the reason for writing may change over time.

Writing a blog is similar to keeping a diary but will never be the same. A diary is something that you write knowing nobody would read. A blog is something you write knowing somebody would read. This fundamental difference means that treating a blog as a diary would never be feasible (unless you locked all your entries). Since writing a blog entails the possiblity that someone is reading, we bloggers ought to have a certain amount of responsibility and consideration towards our readers. A person may argue that a blog is their own personal journal and as such, they have the right to write in whatever manner they wish. However, let us not forget that rights and responsibilities come hand in hand. The culture of rights without obligations is just a facade for human selfishness - for that is just what is happening right now. We are all clamouring for our rights, but seldom do I hear anyone stand up and clamour for obligations. If we do not fulfill our obligation towards readers (potential ones included), our right to write will soon be taken away.

I write for many reasons. One is to express my views and practice putting what I think into words. Another reason is to let people know me better. I'm trying to express myself, yet I know I may fall into the trap of creating an "online personality" where I write to protray to others someone whom I am not in reality. If you think so, then feel free to discuss with me what I said on my blog personally. I'll entertain you.....even buy you drink (dream on). But be kind to me k, I'm a poor struggling student trying to find myself and risk having an identity crisis in this everchanging world. Sigh.

A new low

Recently I sunk to a new low. For people who don't know, I'm an avivd star wars fan. And as such, I take it upon my shoulders to know everything a proper fan should know. It's not enough that I have seen the 6 movies, lurk around in forums and ljs, bought the star wars t-shirt - no I have to go a step further and read the star wars novels.....

Reading star wars novels by itself is not bad...what is really bad is that I borrowed the series I wanted from the JUNIOR section of national library. Imagine me, a 22 year old girl seen scurrying around the junior section of the library, clutching 3 books possessively and trying to avoid running over little kids. This must be the biggest sacrifice I've ever made for Anakin Skywalker.....(the one where I book the tickets online weeks before Revenge of the Sith doesn't count) I have to face the curious looks of children and their parents and tried to pretend in vain that the books were not meant for me. Somehow, I don't think it worked. Okay.....it may be an exaggeration but I truly felt out of place standing among shelves as tall as me.

Jude Watson's Jedi Apprentice and Jedi Quest series were wonderful insights into what happen before the prequels (the training of Obi-Wan) and between episode 1 and 2 (the training of Anakin Skywalker). I just don't understand why she must write for junior readers..... I mean a lot of star wars fans are adults too right. But come again, if she were to write like Timothy Zahn, I think I'll find it a bit hard to swallow.

Anyway, I just realise from Xinyi that not everyone has chinese software in their computer. Although I wrote my name on msn, it only appeared as two blocks to her. Hence from now on, I have a new name: two blocks. You can only call me that if you don't have chinese software in your com ok.

The apprentice

I watched The Apprentice yesterday on Channel 5. It's the first time I think I managed to sit through one whole episode. I think it's quite a feat because as you all know, I'm not really a fan of reality shows. And that includes everything from Survivor to American Idol...sigh.

But as I watched The Apprentice yesterday, I began to see that reality shows do have their own charm. And there are life lessons to be learnt in this game. (even though I'm still wondering if the producers orchestrated the plot or not)

The lesson I learnt yesterday: Being a team player is really very important, but being on good terms with everyone alone doesn't guarantee success. Ya gotta have some real talent.

The second lesson: Don't think that just because everyone agree with you, you will have your way. And worse....don't try to pressurize the big boss into letting you have your way just because everyone agrees with you. He's still the boss.

The third lesson: Play by the rules. Respect authority. The rules are there for a reason. If you change rules just because things don't go your way, you'll lose credibility and authority. No one will respect a leader who is fickle-minded.

Well, although I feel sorry for Danny who was fired, I gotta admit that Donald Trump made some valid points. It sucks to have someone like Michael on the team but that doesn't mean that the team is doom just because of a negative person. If anyone's interested, here's a link to more http://www.nbc.com/nbc/The_Apprentice_3/lessons_learned/020305.shtml

As far as reality shows go....this may be one that I'll continue watching. Even though I went ahead and spoil myself by looking at the official website and discovering who's the final winner. But hey, guess what, I heard Martha Stewart is going to be in for the next season of The Apprentice.